Advocacy Breeds Advocacy

Ever since my husband and I learned of Dawson’s identification with autism, we wanted to ensure that everyone around him understood and embraced his needs and tendencies. We made calls to family members and began explaining what the identification and finding meant. As Dawson grew and we began to learn more about his triggers, ticks and fixations, we would share those with the people around him. We have always been open about Dawson’s autism and that it doesn’t define him, but we also know that it does help people understand him better. If there was a behavior that someone didn’t understand, we would explain it and the reason for it, while also working behind the scenes to support Dawson with a more socially-appropriate replacement behavior. 

Advocacy

This advocacy then expanded into us helping Dawson better understand how to communicate his own needs. When he would grit his teeth, tighten his muscles, or have the occasional hand flap, we would encourage him to take a breath and communicate in what he needed in a way others could understand. Then, when he was calm and regulated, we would practice breathing and how to communicate differently. Soon this turned into teaching self-advocacy. If you need something, tell someone - we are all here to support you. If someone questions what you’re doing, explain to them - help them see how they can support and understand you. 

Advocacy

Then Dawson took it a step farther. The most amazing act of advocacy came while planning Dawson’s birthday. This year seemed especially specific, as Dawson envisioned all elements of his birthday celebrations. First to consider were the birthday treats to be brought to his classroom. Dawson was very specific about the dietary needs of his peers and was especially mindful of not leaving out his friend who is vegan or his other friend with a food allergy - we discussed, planned and adapted our treats for those classmates so that everyone could celebrate with him. Next up was his party. Dawson had many - and I mean many - ideas on how he wanted to celebrate his special day with his friends. As we reigned in his grand ideas to a more realistic plan, he focused his efforts on describing each of his friends to us. At first this seemed like a fun way to help us get to know his friends, but it became clear that what he was truly doing - was advocating for them. 

He shared that one friend sometimes speaks slowly. I nodded in acknowledgement, but was surprised as Dawson continued on in a passionate manner. He expressed that just because this friend spoke slowly, that did not mean he didn’t have a lot to say - in fact, he said,  that friend does have a lot to say - but sometimes people interrupt him when they just need to give him time and let him say what he needs to say. I was inquisitive at this point and asked if this was something that bothered Dawson - that other people interrupt his friend. He thought about the answer for a moment and said that it didn’t bother him, it's just that he understands the friend a lot more than other people because he waits for him to finish talking. 

Advocacy

What started out as my husband and I being strong, vocal and fierce advocates for Dawson,  turned into modeling that for Dawson.  He now sees the value in advocating as well. 

Advocacy breeds advocacy - if you model it, give life and meaning to it, teach it, and promote it - it will inevitably grow in others.