Influence

One of the most influential people I’ve ever met was a 6 year old boy named Bastian*. I didn’t realize it while he was in my kindergarten classroom; but he has shaped the person I have become as a teacher, a coach, and most importantly a mom.

When Bastian entered my classroom he was a spunky, humorous and confident kindergartener ready to take on the next Super Mario Brothers video game level… and then the world! I was amazed at the level of understanding he could hold after just one exposure to new content. His peers were in awe of him and loved to walk around with him at recess as he would recite the most recent show he had watched verse by verse - it was like getting to watch tv at school! Bastian was a true gift to have in the classroom. 

At times, when Bastian would become dysregulated, frustrated, overstimulated, or overwhelmed, he would become unsafe. As a teacher it became my goal to keep him in the classroom with his peers. 

I haven’t mentioned this yet, as it doesn’t define him, but Bastian is on the Autism Spectrum.

I adored Bastian and looked forward to having him in my class, but I also knew that as the classroom teacher it was my job to create the best learning environment for all my students. And so I forced myself to grow, adapt and learn how to create a space where Bastian could be successful. I partnered closely with his special education teacher, Cassandra, and we would problem solve, create, reflect, and recreate his plans over and over and over again. 

We knew that pulling him out of the classroom wasn’t best, so we created a safe place for him to regulate within the classroom. He would lay like a starfish - arms and legs spread out - on the carpet with his peers, so we modified what it looked like to sit on the carpet - this time in a cube chair with a taped boundary. He would blurt out and become frustrated if I didn’t call on him every time he raised his hand, because we taught him that you raise your hand to be called on - so we created a system where he could physically track and monitor how many times he was called on. 

At times it was a lot of work to keep him in the classroom safely, but I knew that it was where he belonged and deserved to be. 

An unexpected benefit of applying all the strategies I had learned to help Bastian, was that they also helped support his neurotypical peers. He thrived with a break system, so I created a class-wide break system - because doesn’t everyone need a break throughout the day? He worked best when given reminders of how much time was left to work, and so did his peers. Without either of us realizing it - he was pushing me to become a stronger, more resilient, and equipped teacher. 

The school year ended and Bastian continued on to first grade. I would see him in the halls, and depending on his mood, he may or may not say hi to me. Then he grew up and moved to other places and so did I. But he remained in my heart - always. 

As Dawson began displaying signs of autism I kept being reminded of that sweet 6 year old boy, Bastian. I would see Bastian in the way Dawson would recite shows, songs and sayings. I would see similar signs when he was overwhelmed. I would even see it in the way his body would tense when he was dysregulated. And in a time of my life where I could easily have felt overwhelmed, I actually felt prepared. 

As I worked with Dawson’s teachers on ways to support him, I suggested many things that had been successful with Bastian in my classroom. When planning for success at home, I modified supports from the classroom to our house. Having all the strategies, tools and experiences I had with Bastian allowed me to truly expand the support for my own child. 

And just as Bastian would sometimes become unsafe when dysregulated, frustrated, overstimulated, or overwhelmed, so would Dawson. I would get calls from the school sharing that my child had been hurtful to his peers or teachers and I would feel an intense emotional gut-punch. After the second or third call, all I could think about was how I never realized what it must have felt like to be on the receiving end of that call. I thought about Bastian’s mom - had she experienced this same gut-wrenching pain? 

This moment inspired the creation of the Spectrum of Support. I was aware of the perspective as the teacher, and now I had the perspective of a mom - which led to the realization that I needed to share this blended perspective more broadly with teachers and parents so they can learn and grow from it! 

I didn’t know it at the time, in that kindergarten class, but a 6 year old boy was helping me mold my own future. 

*Disclaimer: I have received permission from the parents of Bastian to share his story.